It could happen to me

Its a lot to take in what had transpired today in our extended family. I don’t want to elaborate it here in the blog but the bottom line is that it could happen to me. I guess there are only a few instances wherein broken relationships can be mended. However, there are relationships that once broken, can never be mended no matter how both of the parties try.

I’m scared because it can happen to me. I know that if he decides to come back, I might take him back even though my trust in him is wavering. I still love him that’s why. But I’m scared because what if he comes back because he has no more options and like he said, I’m the only person who really accepts him. What if he comes back because of that and not because he found himself falling in love with me again. I don’t want to be the only one who is in love in the relationship. I want him to find that love he lost 3 years ago for things to work out because if he can’t find that in himself, no matter how painful it is, I have to accept it. I’m also scared that he might do it again. I guess what happened to my cousin is God’s sign of telling me that me and him can never be. It stings, I’ll admit but I guess I should endure it now rather than to suffer it forever or when we have already kids. I’m always praying that if me and him are not meant to be, I wish he’ll just stop talking to me rather than making me suffer everyday making me feel that he’s not interested in me anymore. I can’t stay away. I wish he’ll be the one to do that…

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